Category Archives: Humor

Getting Cows….the Truth and Everything But the Truth

I grew up in the city. Not a big city but in a college town in Illinois, Champaign-Urbana, with a population of around 160,000. I grew up in a suburb where the houses all looked the same. Enough history, jump forward approximately 34 years and Keith and I bought land four miles out of Sheridan Wyoming. A huge place (25 acres) or so I thought, and far enough out of town to make me almost hyperventilate! To me that was rustic (which is kind of ironic since we were in a brand new home). We were on a well and septic, with land, and 2 dogs, and 2 horses (that’s another story), and a barn, and a greenhouse, and a pond, and fields, and fencing…you get the picture. All things foreign to me. I was just starting to get used to this country living when Keith came into the house one day and said, “We’re going to get a couple of cows.”                                                       I  said, “no”! He said, “yes”! Too much work, too much poop! He said, “You don’t have to do a thing, they drink water and they eat the grass”. After some additional BS he told me I said yes. HE LIED!! (See the story Cow From Area 51 and that was just the beginning!!) Jump forward another 15 years or so and I am now “the rancher”. We have 140 acres, well and septic, and 2 dogs, and a barn, and a greenhouse, and a river, and a bunkhouse, and outbuildings, and pastures, and fencing, and a squeeze chute and paddocks, and currently 26 animals soon to be 30+ if calving goes well. All I can say is that I didn’t see this coming…..

Feels very familiar

rancher
The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
GOV’T AGENT:  “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.” 
RANCHER:  ”Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for 3 years.  I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. 
Then there’s the mentally challenged guy.  He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.  He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life.  He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”
GOV’T AGENT: “That’s the guy I want to talk to – the mentally challenged one.” 
RANCHER: “That would be me.”